Whether you’re new to deployments or veterans to the the affair, at some point during the departure you are likely to find yourself trying to find ways to still be intimate with your partner while they’re away. Being separated for these long periods of time can leave you longing for the physical intimacy you both used to share. During this time you may find yourself tempted with wanting to share playful photos with your significant other. Whether you choose to send surprise photos in a care package or share the links through a personal email, there are a few things to remember before you do this. Besides the fact that depending on what country your partner has been deployed to, these types of pictures could be considered extremely illegal, or that they may not be officially allowed, there are other things to think about as well. Let’s remember this. Our boyfriends, fiance’s, husbands, etc are in the military. This is the reason they’re deployed, but knowing this, you have to remember that ANY package that is sent to them, needs to be carefully inspected for illegal contraband or any dangerous substances or weapons. So, anything you send will be inspected by someone else’s eyes other than your significant other, and that includes any pictures you send of your goodies. You may think, "well duh, I would never send physical pictures. Everything I send would be sent and shared through an email to his personal computer”. Again, they’re in the military. This means that their computers or software are subject to being swept and also have the risk of being hacked. Story telling time? Of course! Why else am I here other than to let you know you’re not alone making silly choices in life. During my fiance’s last deployment, which was also our first deployment, like most young couples, or any couple for that matter, we wanted to try to be there for each other the best that we could in every way possible. Intimate moments are obviously non existent, and pictures or video skyping is all you have. Now, I didn’t partake in any live video, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” type bit because I knew my fiance shared a room with about 30 other guys, but I did send him intimate pictures of myself via email to try to keep things spicy while he was away. That was until about a few months in when he apologized to me and informed me that all of their computers had been hacked and that it was very likely that other people had the opportunity to see what I had sent him. I wasn’t mad at him. Afterall, I knew it wasn’t his fault, but nevertheless, the photos I sent to bring a smile to his face were now likely bringing a smile to someone else’s face as well. Whoopsies! Hey, it’s a learning curve. Deployment couple fumbles aside, there are still ways you can try to be intimate. There’s erotic emails consisting only of words detailing fantasies, or verbal phone sex, if you ever get a strong enough phone signal, but that could get weird and torturous on his part. Again, they usually share a barrack with lots of other guys, so the tormenting by his fellow soldiers could go on for days. It might be best to leave those types of things for when he comes home. That being said, some deployments are longer than others, and the time away feels like an eternity. It’s natural to want to try to keep as much of the relationship alive as possible during this period of separation. So now that I’m facing another deployment with my significant other and knowing what I know, can I honestly say that I won’t at some point want to find a way to experience even a little bit of that intimacy that we got so used to sharing? Who knows. I like to think I’m smart, but I’m also a realist so I won’t lie to myself, or to you as my readers. Hey, we’re all in this together and part of the purpose of my blog is to share “real life” moments, experiences, and emotions and life isn’t a perfectly mapped out journey. It’s an adventure and I’m a real person, not a fictional character. I could keep this blog strictly advisory and tell you what I think the best thing to do in situations like this is or what the “right, or moral” thing to do is, but where’s the fun or honesty in that. This is my life and I experience real happiness, real fears, have real worries, and feel real loneliness and I live in all of those emotions. I’m human, and therefore bound to live in a gray area where things aren’t always so black and white. My only advice would be to use your own discretion with that and let each situation dictate itself. Have a discussion to see what’s allowed, and what he’s comfortable with.There’s no doubt that it’s hard, and I doubt any other MILSO’s “military significant other” for my non military readers, will judge you for your decision. We’ve all been there.The main thing, is that you don’t do anything to get your soldier in any real trouble and it’s your choice to roll the die with the rest. It’s your relationship and it’s your right to live in as many moments as possible even if it means coloring outside the lines together. So, “to pic or not to pic”? That is the question, and the answer is one that’s totally up to you.
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